Quigley Down Under - 1990

Pathé Entertainment

Directed by Simon Wincer

Cast:

• Matthew Quigley – Tom Selleck
• Crazy Cora – Laura San Giacomo
• Elliot Marston – Alan Rickman
• Major Ashley-Pitt – Chris Haywood
• Grimmelman – Ron Haddrick
• O'Flynn – Ben Mendelsohn

Story: Elliot Marston has a problem. He advertises for the best long-range rifleman in the world to come to Australia and work for him. When Matthew Quigley arrives from Montana, his Sharps rifle in hand, Marston thinks his problem will be solved. That is, until Marston explains it isn't wild dogs he wants killed but aborigines. Quigley has just arrived after three months at sea, and is in no mood to be told he's been lied to. After a physical confrontation with Marston and his men, Quigley and Crazy Cora, a woman who was being taken to Marston's ranch as “company” for the men, are taken out from the ranch and left to die in the wilderness. Somehow, that doesn't work out, and now Marston has a much bigger problem: Quigley. After being found in the desert by the aborigines, who save their lives with water and tribal medicine, he defends them against a couple of assaults by Marston's men, and winds up with a bounty on his head. When he learns that Marston is offering the bounty, he lets him know in no uncertain terms he is not pleased.

Review: Granted this is not the old west, although it is set in Western Australia. Tom Selleck, in my opinion, was born a couple of decades late. It's too bad the romance with westerns has passed on, since Selleck could have easily been a contemporary of The Duke. His easy-going, “down home” style and charm work well in the western genre, and with the exception of Robert Duvall and Sam Elliot, I can't think of another star who fits the “cowboy” persona better. Well, maybe Eastwood. Laura San Giacomo works beautifully as the films female love interest and comedy relief, since neither Rickman or Selleck offer us much in that way. She gives us her story in brief episodes, the returns to the “Crazy Cora” persona long enough to convince us it isn't all an act. Or is it? Alan Rickman plays what he plays best, an arrogant ass with money and power who enjoys pulling the wings off butterflies when he isn't shooting down people for the fun of it. He uses money as his weapon, and indulges himself whenever possible. Since most of his men are conscripts from the local prison, Marston is of the belief he is untouchable. The aborigines have no lines in English, and are pretty much the window dressing of the film, although there are some interesting scenes where Selleck and the aborigines interact. Overall, the film has plenty of flaws and lapses, but they are easy to look past when you watch the action scenes. And neither Selleck for the ladies or San Giacomo for the gentlemen are that hard to look at. Rated PG-13 for violence and sexual innuendo, the teens in the house will have no problem with the plot and the adults will enjoy the various quibbles between the principles. Not sure if this is all that collectible, but I have a copy. Like I said, I like westerns, and I like Selleck.

Die Hard - 1988

Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, Gordon Company, Lawrence Gordon Productions

Directed by John McTiernan

Cast:

• John McClane – Bruce Willis
• Holly Gennero McClane – Bonnie Bedelia
• Hans Gruber – Alan Rickman
• Joseph Takagi - James Shigeta
• Karl – Alexander Godunov
• Sgt. Al Powell – Reginald VelJohnson
• Chief Dwayne Robinson – Paul Gleason
• Richard Thornburg – William Atherton

Story: John McClane, a New York cop, lands at LAX to begin a Christmas vacation with his estranged family. His wife, Holly, works for the Nakatomi Corporation, a hugely successful Japanese company in the final stages of completing their 35 story skyscraper in LA. Argyle, a limo driver, takes John to the building, where he discovers his wife is still listed under her maiden name. He arrives by elevator to the 30th floor, where he is greeted by Mr. Takagi, Holly's boss. Unknown to all, a group of terrorists has arrived in the building as well, and they systematically cut all connections to the outside world. Hans Gruber and his band of thugs enter the party and immediately take everyone hostage, except John McClane, who manages to escape to another part of the building. He singlehandedly attempts to thwart the terrorists / thieves through a battle of attrition, and the results are one of the strangest Christmas stories of all time.

Review: Okay, so who am I to argue with success? Obviously this franchise has proven immensely popular, given the further proliferation of Die Hards 2, 3, & 4. John McClane is Willis' most popular character, and a natural extension of his role in the television series Moonlighting with Cybil Sheppard. McClane is a street cop, a no-nonsense, shoot first ask questions later police officer who apparently gets the job done in the style of Dirty Harry. Alan Rickman is exceptional as Hans Gruber, the ex-terrorist with aspirations of becoming wealthy no matter how many lives are lost. As in most McTiernan action films, there is little background or lead in, just enough to let you know who the players are, and the action quickly starts and barely pauses. Bonnie Bedelia is excellent in her role as Holly Gennero, the top executive with people skills and a sense for reasonable control. She is the perfect executive who thinks of her people first and attempts to maintain calm under duress. Alexander Godunov plays Karl, the hot-headed terrorist on a mission to kill McClane for killing his brother. While no one will ever consider the Die Hards as Oscar worthy films, they are fun and exciting, and definitely collectible. Rated R for some brief nudity, drug use, and a whole lot of gratuitous violence. Like Vin said in xXx, “....think Playstation...Blow shit up!”

Dogma - 1999

View Askew Productions

Written and Directed by Kevin Smith

Cast:

• Bethany – Linda Fiorentino
• Liz – Janeane Garofalo
• Loki – Matt Damon
• Bartleby – Ben Affleck
• Metatron – Alan Rickman
• Azrael – Jason Lee
• Rufus – Chris Rock
• Serendipity – Salma Hayek
• Jay – Jason Mewes
• Silent Bob – Kevin Smith
• God – Alanis Morrisette
• Cardinal Glick – George Carlin

Story: The Catholic church has come up with a new way to get people in the door: a massive new campaign called Catholicism WOW!, starring the new symbol of the church, the Buddy Christ. In order to kick off this campaign, they have come up with a special dispensation for all newcomers: you walk through the doors of the church and BINGO, all your sins are automatically forgiven! This is great news for Loki and Bartleby, two angels who have been kicked out of heaven and sentenced to Wisconsin, for if they can renounce their immortal status as angels and enter the church, they can die as men and return to heaven. If they do, they will have negated God's word, and they will unwittingly undo all of creation. To stop them from accomplishing their mission, Metatron, a special angel who acts as the voice of God, contacts Bethany, the last Scion, and charges her with a mission from God. She is aided on her mission by Jay and Silent Bob, and Rufus, the unnamed 13th apostle. Azrael, a demon from the hell, commands the Stygian Triplets, three demons who have already placed God in a coma. Will the demon succeed in helping the angels to enter the church and negate all of creation?

Review: Kevin Smith will be serving an eternity in hell for writing and directing this movie, and we will all be joining him for enjoying it. This young genius, the creator of Clerks, Mallrats, and the unnamed leader of counterculture has succeeded in making the perfect statement about the dogma of the Catholic church, and he has done it in a way sure to offend any devout Catholic. The rest of us, however, are free to laugh our asses off as we roll through all the irony, comedy, and sarcasm of the film. Linda Fiorentino is amazing as Bethany, and the woman deserves an Oscar in the category of “How in the world did you manage to keep a straight face in the midst of all that”. Having Jay and Silent Bob, the icons born of Kevin's previous films, as Bethany's protectors and prophets was nothing short of genuis (a word I tend to use a lot when I talk about Kevin Smith), and allows Kevin to reprise the role we all love so well. Salma Hayek plays Serendipity, the muse who fell to Earth, who can inspire everyone else except herself. Chris Rock, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Jason Lee, all veterans born of Kevin's films, perform with perfection, making this an exceptional piece of satire, parody, comedy, and art all rolled into one. Definitely rated R for language, nudity, violence and general poor taste (by the Catholics, that is), this is one of those films to watch when the kids are in bed. Collectible for everyone except devout Catholics, who will probably do time in purgatory for even mentioning its name, let alone watching it.